You Have a Right to be Wrong
I backed out of my parking place in front of the local supermarket and pulled up to the stop sign, aware that the main exit lane had the right of way and also conscious of the incoming cars from Main Street. I looked to my left. All clear.
BEEEEEEP! The blast jarred me. I glanced to my right. Oh no! I had neglected to recheck the lane to my right and had pulled out in front of a blue car heading for the exit. My fault, absolutely. I felt terrible. I leaned over, held up my hand, and hoped the driver could see my red face. I kept going and he did too, but that sinking feeling I get whenever I’m in the wrong got the best of me. I prayed on the spot that God would help the young man forgive me and that he’d receive a special blessing right then.
Another strike in a week filled with them. I had visited a sick friend a few days earlier. As we reminisced about the old days and looked at photos from the past, I commented on how pretty she was in a particular shot. The word was suddenly offended her.
“What a horrible thing to say,” she shouted. “I could look that way again with a little makeup.”
I was astonished. What I intended as a compliment she took as a comparison between past and present. I felt wrong again. I guess I could have chosen my words more carefully. Maybe I spoke too soon. Perhaps I should have nodded or made affirming sounds while looking through the album instead of commenting specifically on her appearance.
In the same week I was driving to the beach with a friend and it appeared she was going to make a U-turn where it was clearly forbidden. I made a remark. She looked at me with a puzzled expression. She was making a left turn not a U-turn. Once again my choice of words, my haste to judge, my lack of diplomacy proved me wrong.
Oh how I hate to be wrong, even more than I like to be right, which I admit has not been the case lately.
“The three hardest tasks in the world are neither physical feats nor intellectual achievements, but moral acts: to return love for hate, to include the excluded, and to say, ‘I was wrong.’”
~ Sydney J. Harris
Okay to be Wrong?
The older I get the more I realize how much I don’t know. Being willing to revamp my thinking, let go of my prejudices, whatever they are, and to admit I can be wrong more often than not, is actually a good thing. Maybe being wrong has a positive side. I’m thinking now that we have a right to be wrong since we are human beings and human beings make mistakes even when we intend just the opposite. If we’re willing, we can learn from our wrongs.
As for me, I will drive more thoughtfully from now on. I’ll keep my comments to myself when I’m not sure how they’ll be taken. I’ll not give driving advice when someone else is behind the wheel. At least that’s the plan. But if I blow it again, I’ll remind myself that I have a right to be wrong, and then start over again, knowing God’s infinite grace and mercy will follow.
courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net
Wow, so poignant, Karen. I am wrong so often and quick to judge. Also, to justify why I did certain behavior, rather than, like you—instantly admit I was wrong and apologize and move forward. I enjoyed this one so much because I, too, am realizing how much I DON’T know as I get older! It feels so good to not have to be right all the time. whew.
Thanks, Heidi. It’s good to know I’m not alone being wrong! 🙂
Wow Karen. This one hits the spot for me too! Especially when in the passenger seat with my husband! I feel like I have to keep alert and remind him of how to …… at times! I then take a deep breath and center myself and ask God to keep us safe …..called surrender to the Divine. Not always easy to do especially when you think there is poor judgement or lack of courtesy by someone else. Thank you for the reminder that I too keep on realizing how much I don’t know as I get older! Certainly not always right too!!
Thanks, Kathleen. It seems we’re all getting a dose of humility as we age. Good for us to admit that we don’t know it all, after all!
I know a couple people who, no matter what you say or do, either offends them or they go into their act. The act I refer to is the victim act. I would suppose that there are many people with the victim mentality. I silently pray for them and go about my agenda. Beating myself up for someone else’s hangup is not conducive to my health. Its their circus, not mine. I hope I don’t come off as arrogant or less than compassionate or sensitive, but for my own sanity, I have to think that way. However, many times I try and talk to the other people to see what’s bothering them and maybe share God’s love. But in the case of the other car thing, when we can’t communicate with them, all we can say is oops and go on. But I leave the experience behind. 99% of the time, if I’m stewing about what I did wrong while the other person has long forgotten the incident, I’d go crazy and become a hermit. But I do know the intent of your post. I agree, a person can’t help but feel silly or maybe sometimes even a little lass than smart (says me, as I raise my hand). Been there, done that. With as many times as I boo-boo daily, I can’t be self deprecating too much or I’ll end up in the looney-bin. LOL. I’m 76 yeas old, so you’d think I’d remember the right way to do most everything by now. NOT!!! LOL. Great post Karen, as always.
I know a few ‘victims’ too. I was one at one time. 🙂
Maybe I should explain a little something about my comment. I have been codependent most of my life and have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to live like that anymore. So, yes, I can relate to your post. To me, you did no wrong in your above scenarios. I have always hated to fail, which could have exacerbated my codependency. I never have been a victim of anyone, but being codependent i crawled inside myself and I ended up being someone I didn’t like. The trouble is, I fail every day in God’s eyes. But all I can do is do my best and try to shake things off and go about my day and leave me in the hands of my Savior. And I can’t think of any better hands to be in.
I can relate to your story, James. Thanks for sharing it.
Keep writing Karen.
I really appreciate your encouragement to keep writing, James. I will.
A good one, Karen, but I also feel you did the best you could do and no need to be too hard on yourself. Thankfully I have not caused an accident when driving but I know I have been ‘wrong’ in my opinion of some people. Since I had a son that had long hair and it was not the best style during his day , I knew there were people who looked down on him and would think he was a “bad” or undesirable person to be around and if I had not had him for a son I probably would have been “wrong” in my judgement of him. In reality he had a tender loving heart filled with love for everyone,and would not say or do anything that would be hurtful to someone else. I have to admit it is easy for me to be judgemental about someone who “looks” different from the way I think they should look or dress the way I think they should dress when they may have a heart that is as Big as all ourdoors! So I have to admit ” I am wrong” and when I see the faded jeans with holes all over them on a pretty girl or boy and even OLD people like me -smile- I have to admit it is easy for me to be wrong in what I may think of them. We can be so wrong in our thoughts as well as our actions. Your actions were not intentional so my actions would be worse in my opinion, if I think the way I mentioned.
Thanks for another good one to make us “think”.
Love’ ya! Margaret
Thanks, Margaret. Glad to hear you too, have ‘been there and done that.”
It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who isn’t perfect.
🙂
Hi Karen, good one. I don’t know how many times I have ended up with egg on my face. I just assume at my advanced age I have more wisdom than those significantly younger than me.
NOT…Best I listen and then diplomatically give my opinion.
Good one, Katen
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Joan. Always good to hear from you.