To Each His Own
I attend weekly ‘recovery’ meetings to support my growth in love and compassion–for myself and especially for others. A few days ago in my meditation guide I read the following and it really spoke to me.
“Adjusting myself to things as they are, and being able to love without trying to interfere or control anyone else, however close to me–that is what I search for . . .” and can find when I turn to God as I understand God and release my life and my trust to the Holy Spirit. (One Day at a Time in Al-Anon 1968, 2000.)
Recently I was with some friends and family members in another city and I had an opportunity to put these wise words into practice. Some days it was easy and I relaxed into gratitude. Other days I felt challenged by my own inadequacies and judgments and sometimes impatience.
I get to see again and again how difficult life can be when I focus on what I see and don’t see in others and how little I see and don’t see in myself. I’ve heard it said that we are a ‘work in progress’ or ‘God’s not finished with me yet.’ Clever slogans that might bring a smile (and an excuse for poor behavior) but they are also true.
Staying in my own lane is hard enough. When I cross the line, that’s when crashes occur. I’m going to think about that today when I’m tempted to offer what may seem to me like good advice for others but instead offer those same words to myself! 🙂
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6))
Dear Karen, how your words fit me, now that I am living with my daughter and son-in-law. It is a good thing we have always been very close and my son-in-law is wonderful and felt like a member of my family before he and Tanya marries. I think I have mentioned this before how my son and Fred had great times together so it was just a natural feeling when he and Tanya married. It is sometimes difficult to not express my opinion but I usually manage to hold my tongue. I do a lot of praying and so far we have done well. It takes a lot of practice and sometimes I HAVE to ~ as the old saying goes “put my two cents worth in” the three of us do extra well even though I am sure it is hard sometimes for them they do not show it. I expressed an opinion last week to a close friend – via email- and I regretted it but I guess she did not take offense as she has not mentioned it in her emails. I have a lot of “repenting to do” even though hopefully no ones notices as much as I do.
To close with a bit of humor: ” why is it that we say ‘a penny for your thought’ and we give our TWO cents worth?
Laughter if good medicine!
Thanks for making me think more! Margaret
Margaret, thanks for your wonderful honesty. We can all benefit from your wisdom and experience. I love the old saying about asking for a penny for your thoughts but then give our two cents’ worth. VERY appropriate. 🙂
I like the “stay in my own lane” analogy. I can relate to that. And often I don’t even signal!
Pretty cute, Barb. I don’t often ‘signal’ either. Always great to hear from you.
Good encouragement, Karen. With my mom’s recent passing and working with all my family members to organize a celebration of life for her, it is timely.
It also applies to the declines we experience with aging parents. I used to react and be offended by my mom’s comments and reactions not realizing she had declined in her abilities, was on pain meds and not well, so she was losing the ability to manage her own life, thoughts and emotions.
Thanks for your encouraging insights!
Bev, thanks for letting me know that your mom passed. I had not heard. I’m so sorry for your loss. I remember her so well. She always had a smile and was very kind to me whenever I visited all of you. I’m sure her death must be impacting Zach in a profound way. I know they were very close.
Thanks for this reminder, Karen. I sometimes need to remember this with my sweet mother, who doesn’t always want the advice I may wish to give! (And sometimes she does.) I have just learned the phrase “Stay in your own lane” recently and your post is a good reminder of the truth of this thought. Blessings!
Thanks, Carol. It seems we all have more to learn about staying in our own lane. I find analogies can be helpful reminders.
Always a good word from you dear Karen! and a great scripture too.
Thanks again for reminding us of this lessen we keep learning again and again!! God bless you!!
Thanks for adding your lovely thoughts, Etta Mae. I appreciate hearing from you and remembering all I have learned from your example over the years.
Amen!!! Thank you for sharing those lessons. I can never hear them too often. Staying in my own lane and trusting God is huge. Your article is the cornerstone of my recover process. Thank you again for the reminder.
Thank you, Sandy. It seems we are all in the same situation when it comes to remembering to stay in our own lane–even when it is really difficult.
Thanks Karen,it seems that is what life
life is all about. I like the term stay in you own lane. It sure seems safer there. Stepping out of lane is nothing but trouble. Asking the good Lord for guidance when I purceive trouble around the corner sure helps.
I agree, Joan. It’s a lot safer and ultimately more satisfying to stay in our own lane.