Luminous Darkness
I’ve been following the writing and teaching, as some of you know, of Richard Rohr, a Franciscan priest who directs the Center for Action and Contemplation (cac.org) in Albuquerque, New Mexico. I’ve learned so much from him about how to walk in the ‘way of Jesus.’
One thing I’ve begun to experience in my later years is a peace and wellness that I have not felt earlier. As Rohr suggests, there is now much more ‘okayness’ in my life, a lightness, a willingness to let things be instead of trying to pound my way through life judging people and behaviors that I have no business judging.
St. John of the Cross called this ‘luminous darkness,’ the growing ability to hold deep suffering and intense joy at the same time and be at peace with the dichotomy. I’m not totally ‘there,’ but I see it and feel it more and more as I look at the world around me and see events I can’t rationalize or explain or do anything about–except pray and trust the God who knows all and who knows me. I’m living in the mystery and I’m ‘okay’ with it.
“This Christian life is a great mystery, far exceeding our understanding, but some things are clear enough: He (Jesus) appeared in a human body, was proved right by the invisible Spirit, was seen by angels. He was proclaimed among all kinds of peoples, believed in all over the world, taken up into heavenly glory” (1 Timothy 3:16 The Message).
“You can trust your inner experience, because even God has allowed it, used it, received it, and refined it.”
~ Richard Rohr
What is going on spiritually with you as you grow older that might have seemed impossible to imagine when you were young and more susceptible to ‘certainty’?
Karen, for once you have me “stumped”. I am impressed with your experience. I really do not know how to respond other than the older I get t he more time I have to spend in prayer and fellowship with God. With my condition I find myself saying, “Okay, Jesus, you and I can do this together” – like walking to the bathroom every morning while holding on to my walker –AND we do make it and I thank Him! I find I am talking with God and Jesus more and more and I find a spirit of tremendous gratitude for the way I was taught to depend on them. I have no complaints – just thanks that I know Them and THEY know me! Love and blessings to you, my special inspitation and ‘teacher’. Margaret
Thank you, Margaret. You said you were ‘stumped.’ I wondered why. It seemed to me through what you shared that you already depend on God daily and trust Him for all things and then express your gratitude. To me that sounds like a person who is ‘okay’ with life as it unfolds because you can trust the one who is in control.
What a great term—”luminous darkness.” I love that. To be able to hold joy and suffering at the same time. I have been able to only touch on it at times. When it happens, I am totally aware of it and I am at peace. It is truly illusive, though. As you said so eloquently, prayer helps me get there. love, Heidi
Thank you, Heidi. Like you I am not ‘there’ yet regarding holding joy and suffering at the same time but I love to set this as a goal worth pursuing by God’s grace.
Thanks for your beautiful post, Karen. Yes there is a lot of mystery and the term luminous darkness gives me goose bumps. Your writing made me feel like I’m on the right path. As I grow older
my heart feels softer, and I’m more emotional. I’m seeking serenity and enjoying a less hurried life style. Thanks be to God, “…He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. “ Phil 1:6
Thank you, Pam. I love the verse you chose. It seems we are on the same path. Thank God for older age. Wisdom does come …
It is just a joy to read your observations and follow your journey. It is amazing how much easier it is to trust the Lord as we mature. Life is a learning experience for us all.It certainly has been for me.
“Trusting Jesus every day.
Trusting through life’s stormy way.
Even when my faith is small,
Trusting Jesus that is all.
Trusting as the moments fly
Trusting as the days go by.
Trusting him what e’er befall
Trusting Jesus that is all ”
I learned that song as a child and still it is true!
Thank you, Etta Mae, for sharing this beautiful hymn. I love each and every line.
Karen, I love this post. I have on occasion experienced that ‘luminous darkness’ where in the midst of sorrow I have experienced great peace. It is elusive though, as Heidi said. I see this change in you as you are experiencing more calm and serenity in your life. Thank you for sharing it.C
Thank you, Carol, for your kind and thoughtful reply. I really appreciate your encouragement. Often we don’t see in ourselves what others do. 🙂
Back in 2001, my husband left me for another woman. Early one morning around 4:00am, I felt a gentle touch on my shoulder and when I awoke, the song “Sheltered in the Arms of God” was my first thought. Oh how He has sheltered me and provided in ways that could only be by His precious hand. Life does go on and with God as my constant companion, life is sweet. Oh how I love Him.
Hello Joyce. Many thanks for your very welcome comment. I can relate to your experience as I had a similar one in 1979. But God is faithful to keep us sheltered in his arms, as the hymn goes, and like you, I have been protected and guided all these days since.