Final Farewell
On Sunday, April 19, we said ‘good-bye’ to my husband Charles. Now I move into my ‘official’ new life without him––my best friend, my partner, my biggest supporter. His life on earth is over and our marriage has ended. I will miss him! I know the bible verses of encouragement and I know we will meet again in heaven (that’s the good news) but it’s hard here on earth right now.
My house is quiet: no TV noise, no humming of the washing machine, no bits of conversation between us, no hugs and kisses, no shoes stomping off the dirt from the garden after a long day of pruning and shaping plants. Only memories. Most are wonderful. Some not so. He was not a perfect man, nor I a perfect woman (no such thing, right?) but we were ‘perfect’ for each other.
Farewell, my love, until we meet again and live forever in the place God has prepared for us.
You are so loved, Karen. What an honest tribute today. I will miss seeing you with Charles at conferences, but am thankful knowing your marriage was, and continues to be, such a great example to those who knew you both.
Thank you for this.
Thank you, Virelle. You were the first person to hear the news from me when we received the diagnosis and you were so dear to tell me you would cover me with prayer. I felt your friendship and your love and I do still.
Oh, Karen, this brought tears to my eyes. Your honoring Charles in this way really is perfect, transparent, and deep. I will not add words to what is perfect, but my love sent through this medium and my prayers sent to heaven.
I love you so much, dearest heartner.
Lynni
Thank you, Lynni, dear heartner. I feel your supportive prayers and love–always.
Karen my heart and my prayers are with you during this very difficult time. Your words touched me deeply. I am grieving with you my dear friend. Please know that I am here for you. I am just a phone call away. I love you my dear friend.
Sandy
Sandy, you’ve been a praying friend for decades now and I sure appreciate you.
Karen, what can I say? It has been fifteen years since Norm died (unbelievable)and I still miss him – just the things you speak of – however, my thoughts and memories now bring me happiness that I had him in my life. I still smile at his wit and my memories are only good ones. My writing got me through these years, and his picture on my desk encourages me to keep going. He needed your love, but the world still needs your words to encourage and enlighten.
Bless you during this period of adjustment. (BTW, my memoir -I think I sent you a copy -might help you cope.)
Hang in there – God is with you – and I believe Charles is also.
Marie, I’m not sure I received your memoir. Is it in digital format? If so, please send again or refresh my memory. It’s a bit shaky these days. I’d love to read what you wrote.
Oh how I identify with you at this time. Even after nearly 16 year I remember that feeling of “now what?” Then I recall thinking of the verse of a song. “Peace perfect peace, the future all unknown. Jesus is mine and he is on the throne”. That makes all the difference. Interesting that you used the expression “perfect for each other”
that is something I have so often said about my dear one. “He was not perfect, but he was perfect for me.” It is amazing hoe the years do seem to leave mostly the happy memories at the surface. May you be blessed in ways you never could have dreamed in the days and years ahead. Keep writing…we need you. 😉
Thank you, Etta Mae. Your experience consoles and uplifts me. God will take care of me, as he has you and Marie and Margaret and so many others. I’m settling in and trusting the Lord to direct my steps.
Dear Karen, I’m sorry that I couldn’t be there for you. But my heart is with you. A new beginning can be filled with a lot of happiness and love, as you already know, Karen.
Roz
Thanks, Roz, for comforting words and your encouragement and friendship.
Dear Karen, you are deeply loved. It will never be the same because the hugs of dear friends, while wonderful, do not begin to approximate the hugs and kisses of our most beloved. Yet, how thankful I have been for those dear friends, as I know you are. This is a beautiful tribute and farewell to your Charles. We still have his photo from the memorial sitting on the counter and I love looking into those blue eyes and remembering your lovely man, our dear friend. God be with you.
Thank you, Carol. You and Don have been a constant over the last many months and how I appreciate your prayers, your friendship, and your listening ear.
I can say a big AMEN to everything you have said here!
NONE of us are perfect, but I am one of the fortunate ones, like you, who married someone who was perfect for me! Herb was my encourager, my motivator and best supporter. He also had a habit of walking right by the nice little shower and lavatory in a little room outside by the swimming pool, walking across the kitchen, family room, our bedroom and washing the dirt from his hands from pulling weeds right in the clean sink and drying not only his hands but up on his arms where he did not remove the dirt and get the clean towel really dirty! BIG smile! I was nice( for once) and very politely reminded him of the outside ‘wash up’ room. It did not help. SO after reminding him a few times I just gave up and realized it was not worth mentioning again so I just cleaned up after him. After all, it was probably more difficult for him to get used to my organized habits than for me to get used to his habits of ignoring dirt, because I could “clean up” !! Ours was a wonderful marriage and he encouraged me to be the leader in retreats when I had already said ‘no’! He would say I would do it and that was that! As the result I learned I really could be the key note speaker and leader in classes! I sure need him now to get me motivated but I do have great memories and thankful for this.
I will keep you in my prayers. Margaret
Thank you, Margaret. I love your stories of experiences with Herb. What a special marriage you had. Your sharing gives me hope and strength.
Precious Karen, when I have the wonderful opportunity to see you again, I will miss not being able to give Charles a big hug and know that the hug he always returned was sincerely full of love and care. I’m so glad I had the privilege of knowing him; and knowing you and him together–such a beautiful couple. I’m continuing to pray for you and your new journey.
Thank you, Kathy. I’m remembering our visit to your home in P.S. some ten years ago. It was so nice to share a delicious meal and a lovely evening with you and Larry. It’s nice to know you have happy memories of Charles and his hugs and smiles. He surely was a people person.
We love you Karen. My heart goes out to you. I continue to pray for you and your family’s strength at this time. We’re all here for you. Your many family members, friends, colleagues, fans, and students. You need anything, holler.
How kind of you, Jim, to reassure me of your friendship and love and that of so many others. I’m getting my life together and I know it’s due in part to so many great people, and you are one of them.
How tender! How poignant! Love you, Karen. Praying God’s comfort for you. You were blessed and are still being blessed. May your memories bring you joy.
Michele, thanks for standing with me in love and friendship and prayer. You’re right. I was blessed and still am and my memories do bring me a lot of joy.
Dear Karen, what beautiful words in the beautiful writing from your beautiful heart. May God bring healing to your pain from missing your love Charles. Jing
Thank you, Jing. Your words are a comfort.
Karen, I’ll send you a copy. It is available digitally, soft & hard copy, as are my three novels. My website is http://www.mariepinschmidt.com if you want to see more – also some of my paintings.
Feel better soon.
Marie
Thank you, Marie. I look forward to reading your memoir. I have visited your website and am so impressed with your amazing paintings. You’re an artist in many media.