Do Nothing?
A friend had this cup made for me so I am reminded of the guidance I often receive but sometimes ignore.
I recently finished a class with a group of women committed to facing and dealing with some of the painful relationships we’ve had in the past and present. Each of us experienced a myriad of emotions during the three-month weekly sessions. Anger, grief, sadness, disappointment–you name it. But we worked through them and discovered our part, even if as little as one percent. We also learned the beauty of forgiveness toward ourselves as well as others.
I was surprised to realize one evening that as much as I wanted to ‘do’ something–like face the person and share my feelings and my side of the story–wisdom was telling me to ‘do nothing’–to leave it to God.
From that point on I carefully considered each and every decision and choice to be made–before doing something. As I see it now, doing nothing is actually doing something. I hope that makes sense. My point is that in my rush to ‘fix’ and ‘change’ situations I often mess up big time.
So now I am stopping, looking within, and listening for the guidance that only God can give, and more often than not I hear, “Do nothing,” and the answer I long for comes….
“The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Exodus 14:14
I love this. It calms me to think that I can “do nothing” Thank you!
You’re welcome. It calms me too.
Thanks, Karen! There is great wisdom in “waiting on the LORD.”’
Glenda
For sure. I continue to learn this. Thanks.
Thank you thank you. Excellant advice.
I did offer my forgiveness to someone who hurt me deeply. She denied what I was forgiving her for. That is when I said to my self…ok now it is Gods business not mine. I won’t go into any personal detail..but I did hang on for sometime after I had supposedly forgiven her. It just took time and also to understand the wisdom of god…and do nothing sometimes.
Thanks for sharing that valuable experience, Joan.
You are so right! Doing nothing is really doing something! Some things, situations are so hard to ignore, forgive and forget. When my husband of 27 years told me he did not love me anymore and he thought we should get a divorce I was really shocked! I thought we had a good marriage. We got the divorce, and four months later he married his secretary who was a good friend of mine. I had a hard time forgiving and was about to make myself really sick. Then I thought of something I heard a well known theologian say in a message 26 years ago! YES that long ago. I did not remember her subject nor anything that she said except: ” If someone does something to you that you need to forgive you do not ask God to help you forgive them. You ask God to Bless Them!” Well now that was shocking news that I remembered. I finally got up the nerve to get on my knees by my bed and said: ” Okay, God, I know I cannot fool you and you know I will not mean what I am going to ask you but I want you to bless ‘P and J’ but I really don’t want you to!”
I did this every day and always ended by saying: “but I really don’t want you to”! (yes this is funny but true, I knew I could not fool God so I had to be honest). I really have no idea how long it took but one day I realized I did forgive them. They really were NOT bad people but made unwise choices. We became friends again, he died eleven years later. She and I remain friends and still stay in touch with each other. I think she had a more difficult time forgiving herself than I had forgiving them. This is the power of God if we LET HIM take over. I highly recommend following Georgia Harkness’s suggestion. (she was the theologian). There are things that other people have said or done that hurt and I admit even tho I do not hold a grudge some things are just hard to forget, so I need to “work on myself” to get unpleasant things off my mind. It does get easier with practice-smile! I have also learned that not forgiving does not hurt the other person but it does hurt you.
Thanks for another ‘good one’. Love to you. Margaret
Thanks, Margaret. I had a similar experience in my first marriage, but eventually I could forgive and when that occurred, my life transformed for the better. Thanks for sharing. your stories. They bless us all.
Karen, in our fix-it culture, your words are a breath of fresh air. Thank you!
I had an experience like this with a staff member who backstabbed me repeatedly. Every day at lunch I would read the Psalms and beg for wisdom. The message kept being “don’t fight . I will fight for you and you will be vindicated.”
He did. And I was. Trust in Me, He tells us repeatedly. And when. I try to fix it myself, defend myself, it often goes sideways.
Thanks, Carol, for sharing your personal experience with ‘doing nothing.’ I’m inspired and it reminds me that sometimes the best course of action is no action.
That is so beautiful and yet can seem so difficult. To stop grieving and realize you have done all that you knew to do at the time — and just let God do what you couldn’t do — brings the beginning of some healing. Thanks for helping each of us — wherever we are!
Thank you for lending your voice, Virla. I appreciate it so much.
Hi Karen,
Your message this week hit me right on with a problem I’ve been trying to solve for several months. It entails whether or not I should contact and forgive the woman who stole my husband away from me and our 2 young children, oh so many years ago. (He passed away several months ago.) I’m going to take your advice and do nothing …at least for now.
Thank you for putting my mind at ease.
Terri
You are SO welcome. I had a similar experience. I’ll write to you about it privately.