Courage to Be Me
Maureen with the beautiful blond curls and perfect white teeth. I watched for her each school day when the bus driver pulled up to her stop. I wished I looked like her. I wanted those bouncy curls and I longed for sparkling straight teeth just like hers. I never got the curls but after I wore braces for two years, my teeth were beautiful.
Then there was Nora, another pretty girl whose Irish name I admired. She had a soft voice and a sweet personality. I spent a lot of time focused on other people but almost no time looking at myself or appreciating what God had given me.
Years went by. I finished high school, graduated from college, married and became a mom. Along the way I met many women who caught my attention for their cooking talent, gardening, musical or athletic ability.
I joined a community choir but once again, I felt ‘less than.’ I just could not find ‘my place.’
Years later I met a woman who showed me by example how to look at my life in a totally new way.
“It takes courage to be yourself,” she said.
Courage? Really? I never thought it would take courage to stand up for myself, to express myself, to appreciate the many virtues and talents God had given me. That day I looked in the mirror at my beautiful white hair. When I signed my name to a check I paid attention to the letters KAREN. What a pretty name, I thought. Suddenly my writing talent and teaching ability and personality came to light. I felt the courage to be me, to be my unique self, to appreciate ME just as God made me.
I hope you too, will find the courage to be yourself regardless of your age or stage of life because God loves you exactly as you are.
I Peter 5:7-8
Humble yourself under God’s mighty hand and know that He cares and loves you! Knowing whose you are, His, can take a huge weight from your mind and ease many anxieties.
Dear Karen,
Thank you so very much for your heart-felt writing. I certainly can relate to how you were always comparing yourself to others . I appreciate how God used that woman to help you to see what a beautiful person that you are on the inside and out. It is a comfort knowing that God loves me exactly as I am. You are a real gift. Thank you for being you. Thank you so much for helping me to finish by first memoir with your guidance and editing. That was a real growing and healing experience for me.
It’s been a real pleasure, Sandy, to enjoy your friendship over the many years we’ve known each other. Thank you for your faithful friendship.
Thank you for being you Karen and inspiring me to be me.
🌸Smiles, BRC
Thank you, Beth, for your faithful friendship and for sharing your beautiful writing.
There was a girl in my school too who had naturally curly strawberry blonde hair and how I envied her. It was her crown and glory, compared to my mousy light brown straight hair. I vowed that I would dye my hair when I got older to be just like her–and a perm too. To my own amazement when I did become older I decided my straight mousy light brown hair wasn’t so bad after all. When my hair turned gray, do you think I dyed it pinky-orange-yellow? No, my dear. I dyed it the color I was born with. Actually, I think God did a pretty good job with my hair! It just took me a long time to have the courage to figure it out.
What a great personal story, Barb. Thanks for sharing it. And thank you for following my blog. I miss our wilderness trips.
I spent years wanting to be like my sister — in our 40’s she said she spent years wanting to be me. We prayed and the burden was lifted and we allowed ourselves to be ourselves — just like God made us! Isn’t it sad the years we give away…. I have never forgot your sweet, gentle reminder to me when I was about 35, that I did not need to be “Patti Perfect”. You have always had such wisdom!! Thank you!
Wow! Patti. What a lovely share. I feel honored.
I too remember admiring a girl in eighth grade who was quiet, smart, and pretty She played the violin beautifully compared to me. Another girl and I competed musically to play second chair to sit next to her. I didn’t realize it enough at the time, but I had my own gifts and of influence and even leadership that were being developed. I never will be the quiet person in the room, although I have developed discernment and peacefulness, but I am comfortable now in who I am. I realize that people use their unique personalities and gifts to change the world so that we have a multicolored, multifaceted, multihued, and multimusical universe to experience and expand in. Life as God made it is gorgeous and a never-ending expansion of love, exchanges, and growth. Praise His holy name as we experience it through His Son Jesus Christ.
Ah yes, life has a way of changing our perspective. With a lot of help from the Lord and loving friends.
I never forgot the 2nd-grade boy who yelled across the playground at me, a 1st-grade skinny curly, copper-headed girl with long finger curls. “Hey, you with the wig on!”
It really affected my self-esteem for a while. I learned to ignore anything that was said about my curly hair. I think that statement kept me from ever being vain about it. Of course, it is not “red” any longer, but still curly!. God knows how to make us and accepting ourselves is one way of saying “Thank you”. Thanks for your insight Karen. Always encouraging. 🙂