Creating a Little ME Time

Karen O'Connor Posted on by

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matt. 11:28 NIV

I sagged my full weight against the dining room wall and slid to the floor in a dramatic display of frustration. Defeated by my seven-year-old son! My husband followed, extending a hand to help me to my feet. “Are you going to let that little pipsqueak steal your power?” He tried to hide the smile that curled his lips, but he didn’t succeed. He broke out laughing. I did too. Suddenly the entire episode seemed absurd. I got up, brushed off my wounded ego, and started again.

That scene occurred over fifty years ago but I remember it as though it happened yesterday. Why? Because I learned from it. My child had not defeated me. He was just being a kid in a cranky mood who wanted his way when he wanted it. What else is new? I had given up because I was tired, overworked, and stressed. Parenting in that moment felt like the biggest challenge of my life.

My son is grown now, as are my daughters who have children of their own, and I spend a lot of time with them. Even grandparenting can be taxing! Today I know what I didn’t know then and I put it into practice. I can now communicate a loving boundary when asked to take on more than I’m able. I say, “Maybe another time, Honey” or “I’m taking a little me time today, but tomorrow would work.”

And then I actually do something wonderful for myself such as taking a walk or spending a little time in my prayer garden where I sit and read or journal while enjoying the blooming roses. The scripture verse above reminds me that the Lord also wants us to take a break. Come to Him and he will give us rest. After spending some of my time in these pleasing ways, I have plenty of renewed energy for my loved ones.

I’m a much happier and well-rested ME! I hope you take care of your ME too. What’s you favorite way to do so?

Self-care is giving the world the best of you, instead of what’s left of you. — Katie Reed

www.reflectionsfromaredhead.com

 

Fairy Godmother Monday

Karen O'Connor Posted on by

I’ve recently taken on a new role–Fairy Godmother. I’ve learned that my daughter Erin and her daughter Shevawn can use a little help now that we’re able to visit one another in person again.

So I’ve decided to visit Shevawn on Monday mornings while her son is in school and she’s at work. And in the afternoon I’ll visit Erin’s house while she’s at work.

I’m up for whatever they need doing as long as it’s within my skill set and energy level.

courtesy of clipart-library.com

Number 1 on both of their lists is folding laundry. Unfolded laundry is never scarce. In fact, it’s in abundance, basket after basket at both houses. I’m good at that. I can sit down and fold while listening to music or watching TV or just sitting.

I can also tidy an untidy kitchen–load the dishwasher, wipe down countertops and the stove, put away groceries or even shop for food, if needed.

I’m up for mopping the floor or dusting furniture too.

And I can show up with a freshly baked coffee cake or cornbread–favorites in both households.

I’m excited to help out. I want to. I remember how much I needed a fairy godmother when I was a young mom and when I was working out of town. But none were available.

I didn’t have a living grandmother, and my mother lived thousands of miles away from me when I was raising my children.

But now I have the time, the energy, and a true desire to pitch in.

Have you been a fairy godmother to anyone in your life or has someone taken on that role for you at one time or another?

There are so many ways we can help one another and what a blessing it is to lend a hand.

“No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.”
– Charles Dickens

“We can’t help everyone, but everyone can help someone.”
– Dr. Loretta Scott

 

Customer Service

Karen O'Connor Posted on by

“All of our representatives are helping other customers. You can remain on hold and we will take care of you blah, blah, blah.” Next I received a choice of jazz or contemporary or classical music to entertain me while I waited–that is if I wanted to wait from 90 minutes to two hours and forty minutes. No I did not.

So I took the next option, which was to have a rep call me in the order in which my name came up. I was assured that I would not lose my place in the queue. I accepted–reluctantly.

But I really wanted an answer right away. I had already exhausted the articles online that provide a do-it-yourself menu of how to fix what seemed unfixable.

Then it occurred to me to look for the ‘chat’ option. I found it and I was connected with the nicest, most helpful and knowledgable representative one could want. She walked me through the solution step-by-step and soon we were both wishing each other a good day and saying thanks.

All this hullabaloo led me to think about my ‘customer service’ when someone calls or writes to me and asks for my advice or help. Do I offer it with generosity and kindness? Or do I hurry through the call, eager to end it? Do I listen carefully so the person feels heard and cared about? Do I go the extra mile, offering to find an answer if I don’t have one?

I’ve thought a lot about this–not only in my work life but also in personal relationships in groups I belong to. Sometimes all it takes is a bit of extra time and patience and understanding–something that being put on hold with classical music simply can’t replace.

In one way or another we are all ‘customers’ and ‘service representatives’ to one another throughout our lives. I’m going to make it a point to offer my very best self in every way possible. A tall order since none of us is perfect, but one we can strive to be since we all are in need of loving care every moment of our lives.

Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Philippians 2:4 ESV

Living the Moment

Karen O'Connor Posted on by

“Count me in!” I replied after reading an invitation from my daughter Julie. She and her son and family wanted me to join them for a week-long getaway in Michigan in August. This would be a chance to see my grandson Noah, his wife May, and to meet their eighteen-month-old daughter Lavender.

I didn’t have to think about it for more than a second. This would be a time to treasure, to look back on for years to come, and for Lavender and I to get acquainted up close since we live miles apart.

That same day I read the following in a daily devotional from Father Richard Rohr, one of my beloved spiritual mentors. (cac.org)

“God puts us in a world of passing things where everything changes and nothing remains the same. The only thing that doesn’t change is change itself. It’s a hard lesson to learn. It helps us appreciate that everything is a gift. We didn’t create it. We don’t deserve it. It will not last, but while we breathe it in, we can enjoy it, and know that it is another moment of God, another moment of life. People who take this moment seriously take every moment seriously, and those are the people who are ready for heaven. If religion isn’t leading us into an eternal now, an eternal moment, an always-true moment, an always-love moment, then we have not lived the moment at all.”

So true. Living in the moment is all any of us can (and ‘should’) do. It’s what prompts me most of the time to say ‘yes’ to life regardless of the ‘stop signs’ that pop up. And they do pop up! 😆

YOU’RE TOO OLD TO TRAVEL.

YOU MIGHT SLOW EVERYONE DOWN.

YOU CAN’T WALK AS FAST AS YOU USED TO.

SAVE YOUR MONEY FOR EMERGENCIES.

WHAT IF YOU GET SICK WHILE AWAY FROM HOME?

blah, blah, blah

This time, though, just as quickly as the STOP signs popped up, I kicked them aside and replaced them with GO signs:

I’M JUST THE RIGHT AGE TO TRAVEL.

NO ONE CAN SLOW ME DOWN.

I’LL BRING MY WALKING STICKS SO I CAN KEEP UP.

I’LL SPEND SOME SAVINGS ON FAMILY GET-TOGETHERS WHILE I’M STILL HERE.

MY FAMILY WILL TAKE CARE OF ME IF I GET SICK. NO WORRIES THERE.

I’M GOING TO LIVE-IN-THE-MOMENT NO MATTER WHAT!

Do you have stop signs in your life? How do you handle them?

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10 NIV)

 

Can’t do it without ’em!

Karen O'Connor Posted on by

 

The other day I asked my neighbor Tom for a little help with some small tasks I can’t do by myself. We exchange favors. I take in his mail (he and his wife live here only part time) and he provides help when I need it.

That got me thinking about all the people in my life who keep me going.

Tom, (a different Tom) my gardener

Merry Maids (cleaning service)

Raul, the checker at my favorite grocery store

Jeff, the tech wizard I depend on

Ruth, my neighbor who has my spare key

Bruce, who services my car

Martha, my hairdresser

Steve, whose pest control service frees my property of ants

Mike, who provides home-made fish chowder after a good ‘catch’

Vadim, whose advice I appreciate regarding my backyard fence

Annie, who keeps my eyebrows trimmed

Jordan, my acupuncturist

René, my pastor, and Richard, a spiritual mentor who inspire me with daily devotionals 

Julie, Jim, and Erin, my adult children who look after me in all ways

and so many more…

I don’t want to take any of them for granted–ever.

I light a candle at my breakfast table each morning in remembrance of all who have passed on before me and for all those who support me in so many ways (including each of you, dear readers).

I have such a rich life, thanks to the prayers and services of so many.

Who are you especially grateful for, people who help you keep on keeping on?

I thank my God through Jesus Christ for you. Romans 1:8

HALT

Karen O'Connor Posted on by

Sometimes I get going and I forget to stop and assess what’s up with me. Am I doing what I want to do or just filling up the time with small, silly tasks? Lately, however, I’ve been reminded in my recovery program to HALT–whenever I feel Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired.

What great advice. I applied it the other day. I was feeling Lonely so I decided to HALT what I was immersed in, get out of the house, mosey around a shopping center, take a walk along the beautiful beach near my house, and grab a latte at a nearby cafe. What a difference that made. I exchanged a few words and waves with people along the way, one of my neighbors in particular, who happened to be on the same path along the ocean as I was.

To avoid catching myself getting too Hungry, I now keep a protein bar in my purse and if I suddenly feel Tired I grab my neck pillow from the back seat of my car and pull off the road for a little nap or crash on my bed at home.

And what about becoming Angry? Well I can turn to a scripture verse. There are many on this topic. But here is one of my favorites. James 1:19 from The Message.

“Post this at all the intersections, dear friends: Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear. God’s righteousness doesn’t grow from human anger. So throw all spoiled virtue and cancerous evil in the garbage.”

Do you find yourself needing to HALT from time to time? What do you do in such a case?

 

 

Paid Off

Karen O'Connor Posted on by

 

 

Yippee! I paid off my mortgage this month. It is something I’ve always wanted to do but it seemed so far in the future. Now it’s DONE! Thank you, Lord.

Money woes have plagued me for years. I won’t bore you with the details. But the point in sharing this is to affirm how the God I love has blessed me with one resolution after another when I surrender my worries and challenges to God’s Spirit.

I spent so many years of my life trying to work out stuff on my own and it never went well. My so-called good ideas collapsed over and over because I didn’t know how to rest and trust in the grace and guidance of God.

But now I do! Thanks to Al-Anon, the writings of Father Richard Rohr, therapy, and the Bible, and so many caring people with more wisdom than I have, I know without doubt that GOD will lead me from one moment to the next in all matters.

As I come out of the quarantine and begin to open myself to life again, I am excited to face each day, trusting and resting in the God of my understanding.

How is this new chapter in your life blessing you?

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
    I will counsel you with my eye upon you. Psalm 32:8

Mairin’s Kitchen

Karen O'Connor Posted on by

My granddaughter Mairin is getting married the end of June and moving into a delightful two-bedroom cottage with her husband Dorian. I went over the other day to help and organize a few items. What fun to work together. Mairin pulled up old carpet to find beautiful hardwood underneath and she received an attractive used sofa and she has an abundance of gifts from her engagement shower that she can put to use right away.

Meanwhile, I put on the ‘gloves’ and tackled the kitchen. Nothing a little scrub-a-dub-dub couldn’t fix. It reminded me of the old days when I was a new bride fixing up our first apartment–so long ago. There is something special about starting fresh–whatever that is–a new home, a new relationship, a new career, a new car, a new friend.

I pray that Mairin and Dorian will find joy in beginning their new life as husband and wife, and serving the Lord in a local ministry where they will manage and maintain a property with homes and families living there.

When my husband and I moved to Santa Cruz fifteen years ago, Mairin was a little girl. Now she is a beautiful young woman, ready to embark on a new chapter in her life with a devoted husband. I’m grateful to still be here to watch what happens next and to lend hand and glove whenever they need me.

Ephesians 4:2-3: “With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”

Happy Birthday to Me!

Karen O'Connor Posted on by

 

My birthday (#83) falls on Thursday this week. I’m feeling so grateful for my healthy life. I have lived long enough to enjoy the lives of my three children, Julie, James (Jimmy) and Erin, and to enjoy eight grandchildren and two great-grandchildren.

Three ‘grands’ announced their engagements this past month so I will get to participate in these joyous occasions and their future weddings.

The senior hiking group I’ve been part of for many years has started up again, now that we’ve all had our vaccines. It’s wonderful to be out and about exploring our county and places beyond, while enjoying one another’s company.

I also received some wonderful news last week. Ta da! I made the top of the list. What a great birthday present. Praising God for all blessings! And most of all, thank you dear God for watching over me and loving me all the days of my life.

Gold and Bronze Sales Awards presented to Harvest House Publisher titles

ECPA (Evangelical Christian Publishing Association) presented Harvest House Publishers with GOLD and BRONZE Milestone Sales Awards to honor the sales achievements of the following titles.  The Gold Award honors titles exceeding 500,000 in sales.  The Bronze Award is given to those books meeting 100,000 in sales.

  • Gettin’ Old Ain’t for Wimps
    by Karen O’Connor | GOLD

Listening to Yourself

Karen O'Connor Posted on by

 

courtesy freedigitalphotos.com

I love yoga. I’ve been practicing it for over 20 years. Now that I’m older I do what some call ‘chair yoga’, designed for seniors and for people with a disability. For the past year the instructor I work with has offered her classes online. It couldn’t be more convenient, and yet my ‘attendance’ has been erratic. Some days I’m just not up to it. I miss the fellowship of the in-person class so I find myself avoiding showing up online.

Yesterday, however, I pushed myself. I tuned in and was surprised at how much I enjoyed the moves–maybe because I had been absent for a few weeks.

Why am I telling you this? Because I realized that when I take some time off from an activity that is part of my routine, and listen to myself, I return to it with new vigor and with fresh enthusiasm.

Most of my life I have created a routine and stuck to it no matter what, often driving myself to complete a task regardless of what my mind and body were telling me.

But things have changed during the Covid shut-down. I have more time on my hands, as you probably do, too. Routine is not as important as it once was and I’ve given myself a ‘break,’ something my pastor spoke about a few weeks ago. He encouraged us to take bits of time each week for seclusion (a walk in nature, for example), for meditation (short quiet prayers that turn our hearts to God) and communication (a phone call or email to a friend) in order to balance our lives during this time when it could be easy to dive into emotional overwhelm or self-pity or even despair.

So here I am today returning little by little, to some semblance of routine but with the balance that seclusion, meditation, and communication bring.

Please share with us how you are gradually restoring balance to your life.

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven…” Ecc. 3:1 ESV