I remember the opening words of M. Scott Peck’s best-selling book, The Road Less Traveled. “Life is difficult.” And to that he added at the beginning of his sequel, Further Along the Road Less Traveled, “Life is complex.”
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To his words I add: It’s complicated. It’s multi-layered. It’s unpredictable. So why say ‘yes’ to life? There are just so many challenges and difficulties and unplanned experiences and events that keep us reeling, we might feel it’s not worth the effort.
But I enjoyed pondering this question for myself as I thought about the people I know and those I’ve read about, who clearly have said ‘yes’ by their actions and by their attitude. Mother Teresa comes to mind and Eleanor Roosevelt and President Harry Truman and Dietrich Bonheoffer to name a few. Why did they choose a positive outlook despite health challenges, persecution, aging, family commitments, death of loved ones, disappointments and personal tragedies?
Because life becomes easier—despite the circumstances––more satisfying, and ultimately more joyful when we choose to embrace it for what it is and is not, instead of resisting it. I remember my mother modeling ‘yes’ in her own life. She always had a smile and a hello for everyone, whether in an elevator or at the park. She took after Grandpa in that way.
“We all have problems and pain in our lives,” she often said, “so if we can lift each other up a bit with a nod or a word of encouragement, or a yes, why not? And it makes me happy to do so.” Then she laughed. “It takes a few years of living to know when to say yes and when to say no. That will come to you too, as you grow older and can take care of yourself.”
She once told me that whenever she thought about her own mother’s life as an Irish immigrant and the hardships her mother had endured, Mom felt enormously blessed by comparison. “My life today is something my mother could never even have imagined. So I want to say yes to life every chance I get.”
It’s only in my mature years that I understand what she was telling me. One can live a full and happy and generous life and still be discerning about when to say yes and when to say no.
Thank you, Mom, for your example and your loving heart.
