A New Normal
courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net
I’m gradually building a new life. I’m smiling and laughing again–and then suddenly crying, and then smiling again. Tears come easily but so do sweet thoughts and funny memories of times with Charles:
snuggling under a blanket while watching TV
holding hands while strolling in the neighborhood
going out for Chinese food
enjoying time with family around a dinner table
hiking in the Sierras
camping in a condo-tent near a lake in the mountains
planting flowers in the yard
washing and polishing our cars
praying and singing together
and so many more. But I’m also creating new memories with my children and grandchildren. And there are more to come when I become a great- grandmother in August to a baby boy. As one person leaves another arrives and the cycle of life continues. I remember when I was about to give birth to my youngest daughter my grandfather died. A life for a life.
I’m living on grace, the good will of close friends and family, and the strength and wisdom God has given me all along. I am filled with gratitude and look forward to what the Lord has in store for me as I live this ‘new’ normal.
I believe Charles would be pleased that I am taking his advice:
“Please don’t be sad for too long. You have a lot of life to give–go out and live it and remember that we said everything we wanted to say to one another when we were together.”
“I have come to give you life in all its fullness.” John 10:10
Sending hugs your way. E-hugs now, real ones to follow on the Mount.
Thanks, Janet. I look forward to seeing and hugging you.
Dear Karen, I love what Charles said to you. What a loving soul he was. You’re blessed to have had such a true love like Charles in your life. And congratulations to your becoming a great grandmother! That’s so exciting. It’s hard to imagine because you look so young, Karen, and I’m sticking to my admiration of you that you’ve got a teenager’s body(!!) when I met you at Mount Hermon. I’m so happy for you that you start smiling now. You’re a strong survivor. May God bless you. Jing
Thank you, Jing. I’ll be at MH overnight on Friday, March 27th. If you’re there and you see me at a meal please come over. I’d love to talk with you again.
Karen, I stand on Romans 8:28 everyday. God takes the bad and makes it all work together for our good. I can tell you are on the right path. Bless you much, as you take Charles’s advice, God bless!
Yes, I agree with you, Mary, about Romans 8:28. All things really do work for good even if we don’t see the good right away. God knows and all we have to do is trust.
What a precious gift Charles gave you in his encouragement to continue life with joy even as you grieve his loss. Praying for you!
Thanks, Kathy. I appreciate your prayers and your encouragement. I’m doing well, even as I miss Charles.
So glad to see you smiling again. Hugs.
Thanks, Gail. What a sweet and encouraging comment.
Smiles don’t hide the sorrow they just reframe the perspective.
Karen, I love how you are reframing your sadness. Your sweet attitude inspires me and makes me smile.
BRC
Thanks, Beth. I love knowing that my attitude is inspiring you.
Karen, you are such a witness to us all. I appreciate that you share both the ups and the downs, the hopeful joy of tomorrow, but also the grief involved in letting it go. So many people live a life of regrets, making the grieving much worse. I’m so glad you have good memories and kind words to look back on, that love and forgiveness were a basis for your marriage so that you can now progress to healing “cleanly.” And new babies to look forward to! That’s the best. 🙂
Kristi, I really appreciate your comment. I didn’t want to have regrets so I’m grateful that Charles and I could talk everything through before he passed so that all that was left was love.
Thank you for sharing your struggles and also your victories with us. Thanks too for sharing some of the many memories you have with Charles. God has given you the courage and grace to walk this path. May the Lord continue to bless, comfort and undergird you during this season. Sending love and hugs your way today–and in the days to come.
Thanks, dear friend. You’ve stood by me for years as I’ve stood by you. I so appreciate your love and prayer support now and in the past.
I am sad for your loss, but I rejoice that Charles is in heaven and you have peace knowing that. Keeping you in my prayers. As always, you are setting the example of what a godly woman is and does when traversing the trials of life. What a woman of faith you are! I, and countless others, I’m sure, are immensely blessed knowing you, reading your anointed words, and calling you friend, mentor, and sister. I love you!
Michele, thank you for your loving words and for your love and kindness to me. I treasure you as a friend and supporter.
A baby boy?! I didn’t know that we knew yet! So exciting! How perfect—one great man leaves us, a sweet new boy comes to us.
Love you, Mom. You’re doing great. Charles would be proud.
Thanks, Julie. I love knowing you’re with me in all ways and encouraging me to keep moving, as Charles would have it. Yes, a new baby to carry us forward in Charles’ memory.
You are loved by so many, Karen, including me. Sending you big hugs and huge admiration across the miles. Wish I could be with you in MH. Always wanted to go. I’m sure Gayle Roper will be there. Her new book, based on her blog, “A Widow’s Journey,” is bound to be a huge encouragement now.
Love, love, love.
Thank you, Virelle. I’ll take your cyber-hug for now. I had to give up my teaching at MH for this year but I will go for one afternoon and night to see friends and to participate in my agent’s dessert social after the Friday evening seminar. Love, love, love back to you, sweet friend across the miles.
Karen, you bring back memories of my life after Norm died. It has been fourteen years and the sweet memories do not fade. Charles is no doubt applauding your every smile. God Bless.
Thank you, Marie. You’ve always been an example to me of someone who grieved but then moved on and created a brave new life. I want to do the same, while also keeping Charles close in my heart.
Karen, I am so grateful that you are seeing the beauty of life and rejoicing in your memories. When you mentioned a life for a life it made me think of one of my grandchildren who was born the day his great grandmother died. He graduated from high school the day her son,his grandfather died. The Lord gives and the Lord takes all in His own time. I always think of each day as a new chance to see what the Lord has next for me. I know there will be something to thank him for.
Etta Mae, what a lovely story about the life for a life in your family. Yes, the Lord gives and takes in his time and for his purposes. I agree that each day brings something for which to be grateful. My husband carried a small smooth rock in his pocket with the word ‘gratitude’ inscribed on it. Now I will carry it in mine.
We love you Karen May God’s Son’s light shine brighter than ever on your life
Thank you, Cathy and Walter. You are such dear and caring friends. I love you too.