Home Alone
A friend recently shared that she has enjoyed spending time at home during the pandemic. It has not been as difficult as she thought it might be. I nodded in agreement. I love living alone, and the extended time this past year has helped me get to know myself better and to make decisions that make me happy. I like not having to consult a partner or roommate or anyone else, for that matter.
If I want to spend all day reading, I do.
If I want scrambled eggs and toast for dinner, that’s my choice.
If I want to leave my bed unmade for a day, so be it.
But as much as I enjoy this upside to my older years, I also miss chatting and going to the movies with my girlfriend, or having my family over for dinner, or line dancing in person instead of on Zoom.
There can be a downside too, as my friend declared during our chat. She had a Zoom conversation with family members recently and realized her ‘social skills’ had gotten rusty over the past year. Certain people in her family annoyed her when they shared their opinions without hesitation. Being cut off by the younger members, rude jokes, and intolerant attitudes bugged her to the point that she wanted to leave the meeting.
Oh that’s right, she realized. Life is complex. People are complicated. I don’t have the patience for this. I’m not as kind as I thought I was. I’ve lost my ability to nod and smile and let my family members be who they are. Time to brush up on my social skills and to remember that I may be annoying too.
Her story gave me pause, as well. Have I gotten so comfortable doing for myself that I have forgotten how to ‘be’ with others? Time for the Serenity Prayer:
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”
I’m so glad your contentment has remained during this time of isolation. I’ve wondered how I would do if Larry weren’t here to share the experience with me and give some company. I do relate to your friend. It’s sorta crazy how we can begin to lose loving responses. Sometimes I feel like that. Thanks for sharing, Karen. I always appreciate your insights.
Thanks, Kathy. I appreciate your comments and am happy to know you have Larry to share all the challenges and victories with.
Thank You karen. There is a danger for me to be self indulgent. I did have some time alone before I married for the second time. I did what I wanted when I wanted. Now I need to consider the person who is part of my life. This is really the best thing for me.
I can be very slothful. Russ makes no demands. But I’m from an era that takes care of her husband.
Even before Russ I seemed to be ok with the demands of Covid19. Once again,
thank You, Karen…it does give one something to think about.
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Thanks for sharing your experience, Joan. You’ve given me something to think about too.
Thank you Karen,
I so appreciate this perspective, given the pandemic and how different responses people family and friends respond to it. I’ve always enjoyed solitude and the joy of self discovery… but I’m also very blessed sharing this time with a very loving and caring partner, happily until death us do part. But it does make one still appreciate being social with kindness and patience…even if that means counting to 10 and breathing a prayer of gratitude🙏🏼🙂
Thanks for your perspective, Elaine. I know the joy of sharing the ups and downs with a partner. I’ve been alone for six years as of March 6, 2015, however, so I’m learning to rely on the Lord as my ‘husband and partner.’
Karen I enjoyed your blog this week! I am an introvert so being alone is mainly enjoyable. As we get closer to our vaccines here in Canada I’ve been wondering what life will be like when I have to be more social. My husband and I are retired but we’ve kept fairly busy sith babysitting my granddaughter (who has autism) who is a delight to be with. I’ve been thinking about how I will put up with people’s “annoying” attitudes and the social invitations I won’t have a excuse to duck! Yes, I need a heart softening and skill sharpening before we go public again! But then…people will have to put up with my annoying habits and attitudes- eek! Always a challenge!
This is a cute ‘share.’ How good of you to be so open.
Dear Karen, I am doing something wrong or my computer is~ha! This is my third try to send a response, the first two disappeared so I am just going to say thank you for your words of wisdom and even tho I had not finished the first two perhaps I said “something” ha~ that is worth reading,
Love you, Margaret
Thank you, Margaret. Computer problems can be annoying. I’ve had my share too. Anything you offer is always a treat.
Dear Karen,
You remind me of myself when it comes to being alone.
I remember, in those first years after my husband died, thinking being alone is not so bad . For all the reasons you gave not having to consult anyone about things, being my own person and finding out who that was without the loved one I had lived with for 49 years.
I am fortunate to have my sister and brother-in-law with me now, but I still have my independence. I too, pray that prayer “…to accept the things I cannot change …etc” What a wise pray for every day!
Thanks, Etta Mae. We have much in common. The way you’ve lived your long life without your husband has inspired me. I see God working in my life in similar ways. I’m alone but don’t FEEL alone. 😊
Thanks for sharing this Karen.
Doesn’t it seem that our social distancing has made our social segregation even more socially acceptable today?
I pray it turns around soon. We need each other.
Smiles, BRC
I agree. We really do need each other. I’m starting to get out a bit more, meeting friends outside for a walk or a picnic lunch at a park. It’s helping me tolerate this long stretch uncommon separation.
Spending time in nature is an enjoyable and breathable escape! 🌳
I notice that I am dreading the return to the old busy life, too. There was an emphatic pause that I could relax into in a way. I never had to justify not wanting to go anywhere.
I’m with you. I love my ‘alone’ routine. I’ve gotten used to it. Now that life is opening up a bit, I feel reluctant. Strange.