Check the Expiration Date
courtesy of Jonathan Perez on unspalsh.com
A friend recently talked about the chore she faces in getting rid of stuff left when her mother passed away.
She was shocked to find bottles of prescription medicines with expiration dates from twenty or more years ago.
Why, oh why, did her mother hang on to these and why had she (my friend) not ditched all the clutter a couple of years ago after her mother’s death. She admitted making more work for herself than was necessary by waiting so long. Just open boxes and start tossing . . . she told herself over and over. Why had it been so difficult?
But then she had a sudden a-ha, realizing that as she went through her mother’s things–both items she wanted as keepsakes and those that had no earthly purpose, strong emotions came to the surface, memories of experiences she’d had with her mother that brought up anger and old resentments she thought she had put to rest.
Obviously she had not! She was still wishing she could let her mother know how much the woman had hurt and she wished they could do their relationship all over again so it could have a happy ending for both of them.
Then came the stunner! “I realized,” she said, “that just as I was holding on to medicine bottles that had long ago expired, I was also holding on to memories and resentments that had expired. I should have carted them off to the emotional recycling station for disposal long ago. They were weighing me down, adding clutter to my life, keeping me from moving forward.”
My friend’s thoughtful share got me thinking about the things in my life that had also expired but were still hanging around. Not medicines or creams or makeup but thoughts and feelings and judgments that took up room on the shelves of my mind.
It was clearly time to scoop them up, toss them into a bag, and head for a safe disposal site, never to return again. And so I got to work–doing a personal inventory till I could confidently say: Done. Finished. Expired. Over.
I feel so much better. My mental cabinet is now as pristine as my medicine cabinet in the bathroom. May it stay that way!
How about you? Where are you with thoughts, memories, and resentments that may have gone beyond their expiration dates?
“Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4: 31-32 MSG)
Congratulations Karen for being able to do that! My family of origin was quite dysfunctional and now I am dealing with my mother and father having terminal illnesses and trying to broker some sort of peace with them before they pass. It’s very challenging and I find just when I think I have emptied out the “mental medicine cabinet” out pops another expired resentment or angry memory. Perhaps it’s part of the grieving process too of their upcoming passing. Also, my daughter has recently gone through a divorce and as much as I try to have forgiving thoughts of my son-in-law almost everyday something will trigger an upsetting thought or resentment. It’s not a good way to live. I will have to be more determined to let go of the expired thoughts- your prayers would be appreciated. I know I will only do it through prayer. Thanks for your example as it’s some much needed spring cleaning I need to do.
Thank you, Angela, for opening your heart and mind in your comment. I pray for clarity as you empty your cabinet of expired resentments and enjoy a new sense of freedom.
Thank you for the reminder of that scripture verse. We all need to do a little “spring cleaning” . Loved you analogy to medicine bottles. So easy to hand on to things we don’t need . God bless you Karen.
Thanks, Etta Mae. So nice to be reminded of how human we are.
Very good, Karen! Yes, it is difficult to get rid of some things and I have been trying to get rid of things like a lot of beautiful Christmas cards! Ha! I KNOW this is NOT the point of your ‘message’! It is difficult to forgive and more difficult to actually forget!! I have had to forgive some things that seemed unforgivable but I learned from a well known speaker that when we need to forgive someone who has betrayed us we do not ask God to help us forgive them but we need to ask God to BLESS them!! It hit me hard when I remembered this after more than 25 years after I heard her but when I could not forgive my husband for wanting a divorce to marry his secretary who was also my friend I knew that was what I had to do. I got on my knees and the first thing I said to God was” I know I cannot fool you, God, when I ask you this but I am going to ask you to BLESS (names) but I really do not want you to”!! I prayed that prayer over and over and the first thing I knew I had forgiven them, we bacame friends again. My EX died but we were friends and his wife and I are still good friends and we email each other all the time and visit when I go to Kentucky. I was and am still amazed at the peace it brought to me. I often think of what we say when we pray the Lord’s Prayer!1 We ask Him to forgive us for our sins as we forgive those who have sinned against us. Do I really mean it everytime?? Something for me to ponder when I think of the jewelry and other things that were stolen from me and I know who did it! I think I have forgiven them but if I have why does it still come to my mind?? Just have to bite the bullet and do the right thing which is not always easy.
THANKS for the reminder! Love to you . Margaret
Thank you, Margaret. What a great example from your life.
Wow what wonderful comments. Forgiveness is serious business. I finally after YEARS forgiven someone. She denied being a part of what I was forgiving her for. I can’t worry about her denial as that is Gods business.
Today I am much quicker to forgive – with the help of my Lord and Savior. Also the comment about blessing them is something I had not thought about. But a wonderful act of forgiveness – to bless the person that I am forgiving.
As for my parents – they did the best they could. Both my sister and came to this conclusion a while ago.
My adult daughter Julie recently said, “We give our kids our best and our worst and then they do with both as best they can in their lives.” And of course the same is true for our parents. We’re all so darned human and frail. But God loves us as we are!
Wise words from a wonderful and wise woman! Thanks, Karen!
Thanks, Glenda, from a wise woman herself! 😉
What a great corollary, Karen. I try to go through our medicines once or twice a year to clean out the old. This is a great reminder that we need to do the same with the thoughts that take up real estate in our minds. Thank you!
Thank you, Carol.
Wow! These are words to not only ponder — but then to put into action! My mother passed three years ago and on my walk today, when a negative thought entered my mind, I realized I was able to let it go! What freedom… what peace!! I like your idea of a inventory of what things take up space on our mental shelves! Thanks for sharing Karen — I really look forward to your words of wisdom!
Thank you, Patti. I love hearing about the freedom you experienced.
Spring Cleaning my mind, heart and closets this season and feeling free and fresh in the solace of simplicity.
Thanks for the helpful tips and reminders.
Smiles, BRC
Thanks for checking in, Beth. It is always good to receive your feedback.